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Reynolds Rap

Reynolds Rap

Harry Reynolds  /  January 19, 2012  /  Views: 22  /   No Comments

Politicians, contrary to common belief, make promises they know they cannot keep in order to win elections. It would be suicide to tell us what we do not want to hear. Once they win office, we accuse them of failing to keep their promises. Hypocrisy cuts both ways.

Before you rip, stomp and set this column on fire, consider this: The Republican contenders for the GOP nomination for president in 2012 raised their hands when asked, during one of the recent and seemingly endless debates, if they would pledge not to raise taxes if elected. Democrats, including the incumbent president, Barack Obama, during the election campaign, of course, may double-swear not to raise taxes. You will not hear him say: "Folks, if re-elected, I plan to tax and spend."

To declare for higher taxes would negate the rationale for a candidate to raise millions of dollars; suffer character attacks; race from city-to-city; shake thousands of hands; kiss babies (but, not babes); repeat the same stump speech endlessly; and attend political banquets where the menu is reliably fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans.

Were I running for office, either as a Republican or Democrat, I would swear on a stack of Bibles not to raise taxes on hard-working Americans trying to put food on the table. In fact, I would promise to let one of them balance the national budget. In order to make my point, I would pay to have a semi-truck of tea bags dumped into Boston Harbor.

I pondered calling for the abolishment of taxes used to help support animal shelters, until my dog bit me. I always suspected she was a liberal Democrat.

The reader may protest, bang on my door, call me at all hours of the night, twitter, text, email, or even mail letters begging me to run for president, but I resolutely refuse to do so. I like chicken and mashed potatoes (but not green beans) as well as any man. Promise me steaks, caviar, truffles, lobster, and I might reconsider.

Even if elected president, the reader of this fine newspaper should have no fear of my actually running the country. My wife will do it. She is bossy. Do you expect a guy who cannot even enter the kitchen to make a sandwich to make decisions affecting the nation?

Besides, my wife has a bad temper, but to her credit, she does not throw things at me anymore. Fortunately, our son took his collection of Matchbox cars with him when he left home.

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